No idea

For you to know, for me to find out.

Soar above the sky, to seek the answer.

It's not an impossible feat.



Maybe...

I'm too nice?

I wrote a lengthy post but deleted it because I did not want to stir up any conflict. Yes, you said if I have any problems with you, I can just tell you. However, all you did was to defend yourself and did not even try to change for the better, stating that "I was born like that." Bullshit. You have to make decisions for yourself.

I promised myself not to mention this anymore since we were friends, but there's a limit to everything. Now, is this considered as criticism? I probably shouldn't write anything about friendship problems here anymore.

Solitude.

Dilemma

I only found out that AJC was opposite my school. Recently, whenever I walked out of the school, I will glance at AJC. "Why didn't I work hard enough? I always wanted a JC," I thought. Yes, up till June last year, I was determined to go to a JC because it has a structured timetables and school uniforms. I wouldn't have to worry about what to wear everyday. I admit, I always wanted to go to CJC because the people there looks nice and the environment is friendly, although there's the *ahem* rumour.

It was only when I received my MYE results that changed my mind. My results were horrible and I began to think a lot during the June holidays. I listed out all the pros and cons of the JC and Poly. JC might be stresser and I will have to mug everyday, but the school fees are cheaper(LOL) and I want to join everyone for the national anthem. On the other hand, many people said Poly is fun(but I feel very stress!) and lessons starts later. We could also wear whatever we want, dye our hair and it was also a perfect excuse to ask parents to buy a laptop for us. At the end of the entire course period, we will be awarded with a Diploma certificate.

The cons for Poly is that there are lesser scholarships available as compare to JC students, and if you dream of going to the top 10 universities in the world after getting your Diploma, they would most likely accept JC students instead. I want to earn a scholarship, but they might not want me.

Poly is more for an independent learner. I'm not one of them. I am too shy to approach people and ask questions. I was afraid of making mistakes and do presentations. If I was studying in a JC, I probably would be burying my head into many piles of books, trying to memorise notes for the examinations.

Well, I have no choice. I chose my choice and Poly already, so there's no way I could back out. My results aren't even qualified to go to a JC so I should stop thinking about it. Move on, and forget about my regrets. I can be a better person if I am willing to work hard in Poly.

Sending Shermaine off from the airport

Shermaine flew off on a Saturday afternoon and of course, her best friends had to send her off! Yep, so Jing Min, Doreen and I took the tedious exciting journey to the other end of Singapore and also took the shuttle bus to the Budget Terminal.

To cut the story short, we ate a bit at Macdonalds and began taking pictures outside the Terminal.

 Charmaine & Shermaine. :D

Doreen and Shermaine. :)

Jing Min and Shermaine. ;)

L-R: Doreen, JM, Shermaine & I. ;D

Flight Information. Heheh.

I hope Shermaine will enjoy her time in Hong Kong and get into the course she wants in a college. Study hard, and most importantly, visit us soon! :D

School~

I don't know why I'm feeling so tired nowadays. So far, I had only attended school for two days and I felt like dying already. :( I am feeling a tad stress because there's a test coming up soon. It is sort of a crash course. Everything is squeezed into eight weeks. Maybe Santo is true, we are tougher than students who come in April. I am not going to give up. I got into the course I wanted through sheer determination and perseverance.

As the saying goes, "WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUCH GETS GOING."

Afraid

I wish I knew another language like Japanese or Korean so I could pour my feelings here without many people knowing. :(

School will start tomorrow, but somehow, I feel a bit afraid. I hope everything will go well for me. :)

"When our actions do not, Our fears do make us traitors."
-William Shakespeare

Choosing of schools

I was wondering, if I were to participate in the JAE, what will my choices be? I am quite curious so I decided to write down a list of courses I want.

Here it goes:

1. Business Management(NYP)
2. Maritime Business(SP)
3. Real Estate Business(NP)
4. Marketing(NYP)
5. Materials Science(SP)
6. Baking and Culinary Science(TP)
7. Gerontological Management Studies(TP)
8. Food Science and Nutrition(NYP)
9. Applied Food Science & Nutrition(TP)
10. Information Technology(SP)
11. Information Technology(NP)
12. Landscape Design & Horticulture(NP)

The first four are those courses that you want to go, the fifth to eighth choices are what you are interested and the last four choices are what you can go in. However, I am not able to participate in JAE because I've took part in another exercise.

Lastly, today is the last day of the JAE registration, so please do submit the JAE form by 4pm today. :)

Whoops

Hi!

I know I've been blogging everyday(this is so not me!) but blogging comes in when I'm bored. *winks*

Right now, I just want to enjoy whatever days I have left and prepare for school!

I love school, not to forget about school uniforms. It's a pity that Poly doesn't require school uniforms because I will have no idea what to dress up for school! I'm lazy when it comes to dressing. I'll probably dress nicely for the first two weeks and go back to wearing t-shirt and shorts and slippers. HAHAHA. I'll try to dress appropriately ok. ;)

Everyone is so stress about their 12 choices while I'm idling my time away. *oops* I hope everyone will get into their desired course, Poly or JCs! :)

Unsure

What kind of person I am?

Am I weak?
Am I smart?
Am I kind?
Am I compassionate?
Am I arrogant?
Am I sincere?
Am I quiet?
Am I loud?
Am I a hypocrite?
Am I a two-sided person?

I am not sure.

I may be a smart person in some people's eyes, yet I may be taken as a fool in other people's eyes.

I am afraid of voicing out my opinions, but I do things in a diplomatic way if I must.

I do a lot of deep thinking, and people might think that I'm a cold person because I don't respond to them(I don't like to be disturbed when I'm thinking). The other reason will be because I'm afraid of voicing out my opinion. Misconceptions much. *sigh*

Right now, I am heading to a path where has no boundaries. Succeed only come when you had experienced a failure in your life.

=(

Unlike wordpress, blogger doesn't allow users to private some posts. Well, I'm not going to write too much here.

I collected my O-level results yesterday and I'm having mixed feelings about it. I should be contented since I'm accepted to the course I want. As for the Polytechnic I'm being accepted in, I love the environment and everything, just that it is far from my home. I'm afraid that I'll be late for lessons. =/

I was happy when I collect my results yesterday. However, when I reached home, I started thinking. Why did I not put in extra effort? This was not my usual self. Where was my I-want-to-get-good-grades motivation went? I could have done a lot better. I was so angry with myself that I cried in my sleep and kept on hurling hurtful remarks at myself. =(

I am really fortunate. Maybe it was because I always prayed to get into that course since Secondary Two and my seeing how sincere I was, my wish came true. Haha.

During the O-level period, I never study all the time, like I only studied the day before the examinations. I remembered the day I had A Math paper 2 and Chemistry paper, I was so tired that I slept after dinner when others might be studying for their other subjects. Then, the following Monday, I was in school from 8am to 3.30pm taking THREE papers, which was Literature paper 1 & 2 and Physics.

I loved my subject combination; English, Chinese, E Math, A Math, Combined Science, English Literature and Combined Humans(SS/Hist). Thast was my subject combinations whereas two-third of my class took Pure Biology. I dropped Biology when I was in Secondary Four. I was glad that I had focussed on English Literature instead of Combined Humans. ;D

Before the collection of results, I was afraid that I won't be abe to make it. My mum doesn't want me to get a Diploma at SIM. Hence, I planned to retake my O-levels as a private candidate, or even go to an ITE. I kept all my textbooks just in case I need it, but now that I know I'm safe, I'm going to sell my textbooks. :D

The only subject that surprised me was Combined Science. I did pretty well as compared my usual Science grades in school. I mean, I was REALLY surprised that I screamed! Haha!

I'm glad that I passed all my subjects and got a decent grade. From here, I shall climb on and be better in my studies. Work hard and study in a university after graduating from Polytechnic. That's my goal. I WILL do it. ;)

HELLO

I finally started work yesterday! It was tiring. If you're wondering, I'm working as a banquet server. The first thing I thought of was, wow, the ballroom is so small. >.< LOL. Small IS better, if not I have to walk a lot. Heheh. My pay is ridiculously low, as compared to the others. I want an increment!

I made a lot of mistakes yesterday, such as forgetting to clear the big platter and I went to take out the other dish. In the end, two people have to help me. That's embarrassing!!! I wasn't strong enough to carry the huge oval tray; it was really heavy. The good thing is that my partners I met are nice people. :) They helped me to carry the oval tray in and out of the kitchen.

I worked for 12.5 hours yesterday as there are two weddings going on during the day and at night. During the night wedding, I was called out to serve cocktails and I was reluctant because I don't dare to approach people. Oh well, I have to do my job properly.

I also scalded my fingers and legs while pouring and refilling the teapot. I prefer the guests during the day to the guests at night. They were so nice and I almost tripped when one of them caught me in the nick of time. ;D The guests during the night is okay, just that there were many young children running around me and I did not dare to walk too fast lest I spill the dishes on them.

For the first course, we have to carry the big platter and walk out. As I said, I wasn't strong enough to carry it and my body slanted to one side. LOL. However, some of them taught me the right way to carry it. :)

My day was supposed to end at 11pm but it was dragged on and I ended at 11.30pm instead. De Xin and I changed into our clothes and at around 11.55pm, we rushed towards the MRT(we have to change train) and we managed to catch the last train towards Joo Koon by RUNNING. Phew~

This post is too detailed but I wanted to keep it as a memory because that's my first working experience.


PS. I AM GOING TO COLLECT MY O-LEVEL RESULTS IN 1 HOUR 40 MINUTES TIME!!!

Dramas

I love watching dramas, especially Japanese dramas, because firstly, an average drama only have 10 episodes(they go by season) and secondly,  the storyline always amazes me. Sometimes, I like to compare Japanese & Taiwan dramas, for example, Hana Kimi. I like to compare Japanese and Korean dramas too, like Hana Yori Dango. I absolutely love Matsumoto Jun and Lee Min Ho. They are the main leads, and not to forget about Kim Hyun Joong. ;)

The most interesting drama I watched was Gokusen. It ran for three season and also a movie. In the first season, Matsumoto Jun from Arashi was the main lead. For the second season, Kamenashi Kazuya and Akanishi Jin were the two main leads and lastly, Takaki Yuya starred in the third season. Did you notice that the four of them are under Johnny's Entertainment? Arashi, KAT-TUN and HSJ. True enough, I fell in love with Jpop because of this reasons. ;)

I'm going to introduce you a Taiwan drama today. It is called "Gloomy Salad Days".

I love the opening theme song!




It is sung by Wan Fang. I like the spooky "feel". ;)


The Chinese name for it is called 死神少女. I don't really like Taiwan dramas because I find that the plots are always the same. However, I was wrong. According to Wikipedia, this drama involves 12 different stories which happened to teenagers, taken from real life social cases. Shen Qi is a student who has a brain tumor, giving him the ability to see Death Girl when no one else can. As he witnesses her task of ferrying different people to the afterlife, he gradually falls in love with her and begins to understand the transition between life and death.

The storyline is really interesting. I admit that one of the reason I watched this drama is because Aaron Yan is starring in it. However, as you watch this drama, you will find that the 12 different stories is a sad reality of the modern society. I strongly recommend everyone to watch it.

That's all I want to write. :)

Shaun's 1st day of school!

Before we left the house, I took pictures of my brother. :D

Before assembly...

                                                                                   

Tired looking brother.

 Hi there! :)

 Recess time...unorganised queues.

Shaun and his buddy.

What are you eating? ;D Hehehe.

 Shaun in his classroom.

 Random picture which I found it nice. :)

Overall, I like his Primary School even though it is not near our house. Their uniforms are so cuteee. ;D

Till then, ciao!

Reminisce

O levels results will be out in seven days. I will miss all my classmates and of course, the school that had nurtured me into a teenager.

I will definitely miss:

1. Those times when we stayed together as a class in unison
2. When we had some conflicts with our Physics teacher
3. When we were not allowed to move anywhere in the school compound during the H1N1 period
4. When we organised class outings

and many more...

So students, have fun during your secondary school life before you miss it! ;)

On the other note, my six-year-old brother is Primary One this year and will be attending Primary School for the first time tomorrow! :D

Shyness

I am a shy person. I seldom interact with strangers or people whom I'm not close with. I am afraid of approaching people.

After an incident which happened a few days ago, I went on to google up words that describes me. Agoraphobia and Autophobia. It means fear of leaving a safe place & fear of being alone or of oneself respectively.

Maybe because of that incident when I was 10 turned me into this type of person. The feeling of being alone made me feel scared and unsafe. I am also afraid to speak to strangers. Till now, no one was able to give me a sense of secureness except my family.

May I hope that I will overcome my phobias in a matter of time.

HAPPY NEW YEAR~

A brand new year, a brand new start.
Today is 1/1/11. ;D

My New Year rosolutions are:

1. Ace in my studies
2. Get a part-time job
3. Continue dancing
4. Make new and good friends
5. Become a model =O
6. Spend more time with my family


My reasons(according to my listings):

1. Let me skip the O levels part. I know I will not do well. I have actually thought about it. What should I do if I failed my O levels? Get on with life. I'm fortunate to be born in Singapore because the govenment takes care of her needs. No matter what educational path you take, you will definitely be able to graduate from a university, provided that you work hard. I don't come from a wealthy family. Some parents might send their children to a college overseas if they could notget into any good colleges in Singapore. My parents can't afford that kind of money. Therefore, I have decided to work extremely hard and ace in my studies no matter where I go to in the future.

2. By having a job means that you have a responsibility to take. The first thing people thought of "a part-time job" will be money. Well, who doesn't love money? I do, but not to some extent that I spend it on branded goods. I save. For what? For rainy days. You will never know when you need the money. Every cents counts. Moreover, by having a job means that you will be responsible for your own money. You can earn $800 a month, but you can also spend the $800 away in a day.

3. Dancing is a form exercise. It tones up your muscles and most of all, it gives us a curvy figure. I love dancing. I danced when I was in primary school but quit dancing when I got into secondary school. At that time, I wanted to have a change in environment, so I decided to join Guzheng. Four years later, I realised that music is not my forte. Dance is what I'm better in. I am not as flexible as a dancer but at least my fingers can touch the floor when I bend down. Remember, I haven't danced for four years. I missed dancing. I even remembered the last time I danced was for the SYF in 2006. We clinched the Silver award. :D I hope to get back to dance soon.

4. Friends come and go. I don't believe in that. As long as you make an effort to stay in touch with your friends, they won't go. Till now, I still stay in touch with my primary school friends. It is easy to make new friends, but it is difficult to make good friends. How would you know if they betray you one day? Therefore, I hope that when I go to a new place, I will make new and good friends. Thank you Santo, for reminding me. :)

5. Hmm...model...it's so contradictive. I mean, a model, you must have the looks and height. I think I look average, but I don't know how to put on makeup. As for height wise, my height is average too. To become a supermodel, you must be at least 1.75m for females. I will never be one. *laughs* Back to the main point, I always had a dream of walking on a catwalk platform when I was young. Needless to say, it is impossible. I'm terribly shy(towards strangers) and I think my face will turn red before it's my turn to go up. LOL. Maybe I will be one, if some kind souls give me a chance. ;)

That's all for my new year resolution.